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WHAT THE FAQ IS LA-UNDERGROUND?
Nothing special.

WHO THE FAQ IS LA-UNDERGROUND?
No one special.

WHAT'S THE DEAL WITH THE ANONYMITY THING?
...

I HATE YOUR BLOG, WHERE CAN I FIND YOU AND BEAT YOUR ASS UP?
On most week nights, you can usually find us near the entrance and exit doors at the Viper Room. We're the big black guys.

WILL YOU REVIEW/MENTION MY BAND, SHOW, ART EXHIBIT, FILM, BOOK, ETC.?
It would be an honor.

GREAT, WHERE CAN I SEND YOU MY CD, PRESSKIT, ETC.?
Chances are we already have your CD. But in case we don't, let us know if you're music is available online or at local record stores and we will buy them. Do not send us free CDs, promo items, etc. We're not good/professional/cool enough to be sent free stuff. And we're pretty sure you're not rich enough to be giving away free music. Presskits, MP3s, etc. can be emailed to us.

UHH... OK, BITCH, SO WHAT IF IT'S AN ADVANCE RELEASE?
That's a good question, actually, but do you really have to use such language? Well, if you have an official advance release then it's even more likely we already have your CD. You just have to trust us on that. But if you're a straight-out-of-the-garage new band that has a record that you know nobody has and you refuse to put it up on iTunes or Snocap but would still like a review of some sort then, damn, ok you can send it (email us for info). But we prefer to buy a copy at one of your shows.

SO IF YOU ALREADY HAVE OUR CD WHERE'S THE REVIEW?
If it's good, it will happen. You must believe. If it is not good. then you must be Fall Out Boy, Good Charlotte. or 30 Seconds to Mars and there is nothing we can write that will help you.

DO YOU HAVE ANY SHOWS THAT WE CAN JUMP ON?
Our shows are small, intimate affairs. If you're expecting a line down the block for one our shows then we are not the show for you. We've done lots of shows with bands that have gone on to bigger and better things, but they all have to start somewhere. Our shows are before the somewhere.

CAN YOU DESIGN A POSTER FOR US?
We'd love to, if... 1). You're a local artist 2). You're a local venue 3). You're awesome (and nice).

CAN YOU PRESENT/CO-PRESENT A SHOW FOR US?
We'd love to, if... 1). You're a local artist 2). You're a local venue 3). You're awesome (and nice).

CAN YOU LIST OUR SHOW ON YOUR CALENDAR?
Yes.

CAN I SEND SOMETHING VIA EMAIL?
Absolutely. Our bulk/spam folder is starving.

DO YOU KISS ON THE FIRST DATE?
Kissing is a very sacred thing. It should be done only when two loving individuals have spent time knowing and understanding each other. A mutual respect of one's physical and emotional well-being must be taken into consideration even before taking the leap into this deeply intimate interaction.

So, yes, preferrably with lots of tongue.

CAN I USE A PHOTO/IMAGE YOU TOOK FOR MY BAND/BLOG/SITE?
Yes. No photo credit needed.

I'D LIKE TO ADVERTISE ON YOUR SITE, WHAT'S YOUR AD RATE AND MONTHLY PAGE VIEWS?
We're flattered that you think that this site is actually popular enough to warrant your time and money. It isn't.

DO YOU DO TICKET/CD GIVEAWAYS?
None of our four readers will bother to participate.

WE HAVE A SHOW COMING UP IN LOS ANGELES, CAN WE GET YOUR NAME TO PUT ON THE GUESTLIST?
No thanks, we'll pay.

I GOT YOUR ADDRESS FROM A FRIEND AND SENT YOU SOMETHING. DID YOU GET IT?
Sorry, we no longer use that old P.O. Box listing that you probably have but your material should have been returned to you.

HOW MANY LA-UNDERGROUNDERS DOES IT TAKE TO CHANGE A LIGHT BULB?
Two: One to change the light bulb. And another to do the obligatory "Los Angeles Loves... Light Bulbs" post.


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